Relationships, Love and Romance

Real Life.. definitely. After the show ends…

Did you watch the 3 hour Bachelor Finale? Was it painful for you too?

All you have to do is read some blogs today and comments across the web and you will see a divided crowd. Some just hate Jason for what he did..

I will tell you this though, people can be very different in different environments.

To give you one real life comparison.. My wife before she met me was married to a Marine stationed in Hawaii. She went to visit him there a dozen times before he moved back to her hometown here in Wisconsin.

As soon as he was out of the military environment and took his uniform off, he turned into Mr. Loser *sshole. Her words not mine.

He couldn’t hold a job.. he was rude and insensitive to her, her family and friends. He let himself go.. was a slob.

He simply turned into a different person; and of course, to my benefit, they got a divorce.

Well, giving Jason in the Bachelor the benefit of the doubt, who’s to say that didn’t happen and out of respect he’s not going to go into great detail with the general public?

What if she turned into a real *itch? What if she became controlling.. Maybe it wasn’t that bad, but maybe a combination of minor differences that changed her whole personality.

People are different in different environments. And a show like this is going to have more failures than successes because it’s an unnatural setup. Look.. you can’t force love. And you can’t force decisions. You can’t put a time limit and force someone to choose. It doesn’t work that way in the real world.

The Bachelor works as a show because its’ entertaining and people love soap opera-ish stuff. But as a real model to find your true love, it sucks!

Blend that with caring for multiple people at the same time.. in exotic situations they are in? Wow..

My wife says it’s like they know the “Vacation Person” when they are on the show…

That’s probably the case for a lot of these shows.

As soon as you are back into the real world and have to live a normal life, many things change.. and people will act and even look different.

Maybe Melissa doesn’t shower everyday.. and only did on the show.

Actually.. I loved Melissa. And rooted for him to pick her. She does seem like a really nice and sweet person and I don’t mean any disrespect and wish her the best.

Just trying to look at it logically.

In the end, no one will probably really know what happened.. and Jason has to follow his heart and mind. If he is still with Molly in 10 years living a happy, happy life, then it was the right thing for him to do.

-Joe Taylor

Bachelor, Compatibility Add new tag, breaking up, couple experiences, failure, The Bachelor, TV Shows

It’s one of the most difficult, life changing things we go through.  Before I met my current wife I went through quite a few unfortunately.  But as this article will go into that I’ve linked to below, it’s really a transition in your life.  Yes, it hurts at the time and it’s not easy, but you will get through it.

I think of all the relationships I was in and they all contributed to who I am today.  I cherish the good times I had.. good memories.  And honestly I think little of the bad times.

You learn and take something from every experience..  relationships are no different. 

If you are going through a breakup now or just want to be prepared.. or maybe it’s been a while and you want to make sense of it all, I recommend reading..

How to End a Relationship, (How to Break Up with Someone, How to Cope with Your Partner Leaving)

The relationships we have throughout our lives shape us..  cherish every moment.

-Joe Taylor

Tags: breakingup, ending a relationship

Bad Relationships, On Relationships Bad Relationships, breaking up, Coping, failure, looking back, love memories, sharing memories

I just found this short post about the importance of NOT choosing a partner with issues:

• Successful Relationships: What factors predict success?

I think what’s said here:

Personally, I think a lot of problems deal with unrealistic expectations. I often run into people who are dating people with personal issues and problems and feel that they can change their partners or that their partners will change over time. My suggestion is that people don’t marry a “project.” If your partner already has personal problems, there is a strong likelihood that the problems will get worse, not better.

I like how that’s put, “..don’t marry a project.” How many people go into a marriage and their partner has serious issues already! Somewhere in the back of your brain you think you can fix or correct something.. or that it will work itself out over time.

“Oh, he’ll change…” That’s probably been stated in many failed relationships at one time or another.

If you are dating someone that needs a lot of work on some things, think hard about that. At the very least don’t be in a rush to get married and have kids within the year.

Can you cope with what they are dealing with? How severe is it? How will it affect your future?

Always think about worst case scenarios.. what if they don’t change?

Life’s to short. Don’t get caught up in something that might drag you down in the end with it..

-Joe Taylor

Bad Relationships, Dating Advice Bad Relationships, breaking up, Coping, failure

I know… Oh do I know!.. that action isn’t that easy.

ok… I was that teenager dialing the telephone and hanging up before I finished dialing 150 times. And sometimes I finally just walked away..

It took me years to finally develop the guts to go through with that. And I was still nervous, but I learned to hold my breath and go.

Walking up to a person to talk to them..

Asking a person out on a date..

Making that first phone call..

And every other action that is required to get something moving with another in the love direction..

..it all takes guts and it all takes action.

We fear so many things don’t we? Making a fool out of ourselves. Being rejected.. lack of confidence plays a big roll.

But the only way we find our true soul mates in life is sampling the field! And the only way to do that is to push through.. to hold your breath and dive into the water. It’s like that.. when you are at the edge of what you know will be cold water.. you know once you’re in it you’ll be fine, but it’s that initial shock we fear right?

And you MUST NOT be afraid of failure.. failure is healthy in life. Whether that’s in relationships, business or whatever. That’s how we learn. And that’s how we play the numbers game.

Not everyone is going to be right for you.. but you must try and fail to get to that person that is.

A salesman understands that they have to get so many no’s to get to a yes. It’s the same way with dating.. as long as you understand that failure is part of the process, it will make it easier for you.

See the prize. Understand the numbers.. and get out there and take action. It takes guts.. even I had to get through this.. And once I gained the confidence to strike out, I dated dozens and dozens of women before I met the one I married… You can do it too!

-Joe Taylor

Dating Advice confidence, dating, failure, stress, talking