Relationships, Love and Romance

Real Life.. definitely. After the show ends…

Did you watch the 3 hour Bachelor Finale? Was it painful for you too?

All you have to do is read some blogs today and comments across the web and you will see a divided crowd. Some just hate Jason for what he did..

I will tell you this though, people can be very different in different environments.

To give you one real life comparison.. My wife before she met me was married to a Marine stationed in Hawaii. She went to visit him there a dozen times before he moved back to her hometown here in Wisconsin.

As soon as he was out of the military environment and took his uniform off, he turned into Mr. Loser *sshole. Her words not mine.

He couldn’t hold a job.. he was rude and insensitive to her, her family and friends. He let himself go.. was a slob.

He simply turned into a different person; and of course, to my benefit, they got a divorce.

Well, giving Jason in the Bachelor the benefit of the doubt, who’s to say that didn’t happen and out of respect he’s not going to go into great detail with the general public?

What if she turned into a real *itch? What if she became controlling.. Maybe it wasn’t that bad, but maybe a combination of minor differences that changed her whole personality.

People are different in different environments. And a show like this is going to have more failures than successes because it’s an unnatural setup. Look.. you can’t force love. And you can’t force decisions. You can’t put a time limit and force someone to choose. It doesn’t work that way in the real world.

The Bachelor works as a show because its’ entertaining and people love soap opera-ish stuff. But as a real model to find your true love, it sucks!

Blend that with caring for multiple people at the same time.. in exotic situations they are in? Wow..

My wife says it’s like they know the “Vacation Person” when they are on the show…

That’s probably the case for a lot of these shows.

As soon as you are back into the real world and have to live a normal life, many things change.. and people will act and even look different.

Maybe Melissa doesn’t shower everyday.. and only did on the show.

Actually.. I loved Melissa. And rooted for him to pick her. She does seem like a really nice and sweet person and I don’t mean any disrespect and wish her the best.

Just trying to look at it logically.

In the end, no one will probably really know what happened.. and Jason has to follow his heart and mind. If he is still with Molly in 10 years living a happy, happy life, then it was the right thing for him to do.

-Joe Taylor

Bachelor, Compatibility Add new tag, breaking up, couple experiences, failure, The Bachelor, TV Shows

That’s not me saying that by the way.. I am married to a lovely female. Not that there would be anything wrong with me having a boyfriend if I wasn’t married.. and had a serious shift in my desires.

But I know often that question comes up after a breakup right?

And having been on both sides of the coin a few dozen times when I was in my teens and twenties, I have much to say on the topic.

Will he come back? Will he regret ever leaving you?

That always depends on the ‘reason’ for the breakup. There isn’t a right answer.. I know, you wanted one. I do apologize.. but sometimes there isn’t.

I will say I am a ‘hope’ kind of guy (not an Obama fake, just to get me elected, hope kind of guy.. I’m a republican, lol…), but I do believe in hope. I believe that just because something bad happens it doesn’t mean something good can’t come of it or that the pain can’t be reversed.

If you care about someone, you can work on it.

And sometimes.. boys change their minds. I did. I had some relationship I changed my mind about a dozen times I think.

In the end though.. my advice would be to reflect on what went wrong. Hopefully you know the true root of the problem that made him leave you.. and if you can come to terms with that and work on fixing that, great!

Look, The Bachelor’s couple Charlie O’Connell and Sarah Brice broke up because of his problem with drinking right? I caught some of the Bachelor last night.. ladies tell all thing.. and they were on there talking about it. He hasn’t drank in 2 years now and they are ‘working’ on it again – they are back together.

Relationships are not always easy. Most of mine in the past weren’t. Until I met my lovely wife I have today.

But I had to go through all those times.. and wonder if ‘She’ was coming back or thinking about me.. I still think back and wonder if certain women I dated ever think about me.

But, bottom line is, if it’s not meant to be, it’s not meant to be.. and life moves on. If any of those other relationships would have worked out, I wouldn’t have found my soul mate.

If the first relationship I ever had worked out, I would have missed out on dozens of women in between then and now.

…maybe he will come back. Maybe give him some room, but remind him periodically that you still dig him and are still interested. Don’t push him away by being too crazy.. just drop those hints.

And work on it if he’s all that. Because.. you certainly don’t want to be left with the thought the rest of your life; what if I would have just tried and expressed my feelings.. and wouldn’t have just moved on right away.

Good Luck!

-Joe Taylor

Bad Relationships, Compatibility, Forgiveness, Joe's Personal Stories Bad Relationships, breaking up, Dating Advice

It’s one of the most difficult, life changing things we go through.  Before I met my current wife I went through quite a few unfortunately.  But as this article will go into that I’ve linked to below, it’s really a transition in your life.  Yes, it hurts at the time and it’s not easy, but you will get through it.

I think of all the relationships I was in and they all contributed to who I am today.  I cherish the good times I had.. good memories.  And honestly I think little of the bad times.

You learn and take something from every experience..  relationships are no different. 

If you are going through a breakup now or just want to be prepared.. or maybe it’s been a while and you want to make sense of it all, I recommend reading..

How to End a Relationship, (How to Break Up with Someone, How to Cope with Your Partner Leaving)

The relationships we have throughout our lives shape us..  cherish every moment.

-Joe Taylor

Tags: breakingup, ending a relationship

Bad Relationships, On Relationships Bad Relationships, breaking up, Coping, failure, looking back, love memories, sharing memories

Well… You know I like to talk about how to improve, enhance, add romance etc. in your relationships. Positive stuff.

But, sometimes you have to dump someone; especially if they are poisoness to your mojo.

I’d rather see you break up with someone than drag on something that just isn’t meant to be. Life is to short to linger!

Problem is, that isn’t always easy is it? I went through a lot of break ups in the past. It’s one of the worst things you have to endure; especially doing it face to face – which is actually the best way to do it technically, but it’s not always what we ‘want’ to do.

I stumbled on this today though — SlyDial

If you are ready to or need to break up with your lover in the future, now you can do it without worrying about them picking up the phone. Yep.. this service by-passes ringing and helps you go right to voice mail.

Actually I could see this having numerous applications. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve wanted to just leave a message, but nooooooo.. they pick up and now you have just burned an hour of your time.

I actually do think this is a very cold way of breaking up , but lets face it.. there are some real jerks (guys and gals) and terrible people out there. Maybe it’s better in that case.. maybe they don’t deserve courtesy and it’s time for you to move on and find Mr. or Mrs. Right?

Speak your mind without worrying about being interrupted.

Later!

-Joe Taylor

Bad Relationships Bad Relationships, breaking up