JoeTaylors.com

There are very few relationships where the couple will not argue at some stage. There are the exceptions. And I often wonder how that can even be the case but I suppose that there are just some people out there that just don’t argue for whatever reason. Sometimes you get two people together that have personalities that absolutely never, ever argue. And that’s fine…

But the reality is a lot of couples do argue or complain about things; including myself and my partner. Not all the time; probably only a few percent of the time, but it happens… It’s not usually myself that starts it. My wife tends to get worked up about things; often small things..

I’m pretty laid back though so it really balances it to a degree; usually it’s one sided because I don’t like to argue back… She does actually says, “I hate it that you don’t argue back! Drives me nuts!”.

But what I really want to just talk about quickly is the fact of how humor and laughter can actually derail a potential argument. If you see the person that you love is about to explode or is getting worked up about a situation, take a deep breath and step back from the situation.

I know this isn’t always easy… but follow me here.. it can save you a lot of a headaches, and it can stop you from saying something stupid and making the situation even worse.

A lot of times what I do is I will just sit there and hear my wife out. And then… I just smile.

I have to smile and just the right away; it does take a little practice and experimenting.. think about it like smiling as if she (or he) is saying something nice to you that you are reacting to.

If you smile where you are sort of making fun of her or looking down on her in some way, it could backfire. But a lot of times this can actually derail the situation and she’ll smile back at me - her whole facial expression will change in a positive way.

Unless you did something really, really bad. Of course you have to weigh the gravity of the situation as well. If it’s something that you did that you’re in trouble for, then you may want to rethink this smile tactic…

But in a lot of situations you can smile and he or she might realize how silly they’re being. She might realize that you aren’t going to argue back and that what she’s doing is futile.

I think a lot of people just get so caught up in their emotions and in the moment that if they really just a step back smile at the situation and really just think about it, they’ll really realize it is just silly to start this arguments or line of discussion..

..and you can move on with your day and do something fun and less stressful. Arguing in the end is usually just a waste of time and energy. And it can lead to bad feelings that last days or longer.

Just because someone’s going to start an argument doesn’t mean you have to continue that argument.

And a smile can go a long way in making somebody feel better and making something that could have been a big deal seem trivial. Try it!

– Joe Taylor