I just found this short post about the importance of NOT choosing a partner with issues:
I think what’s said here:
Personally, I think a lot of problems deal with unrealistic expectations. I often run into people who are dating people with personal issues and problems and feel that they can change their partners or that their partners will change over time. My suggestion is that people don’t marry a “project.” If your partner already has personal problems, there is a strong likelihood that the problems will get worse, not better.
I like how that’s put, “..don’t marry a project.” How many people go into a marriage and their partner has serious issues already! Somewhere in the back of your brain you think you can fix or correct something.. or that it will work itself out over time.
“Oh, he’ll change…” That’s probably been stated in many failed relationships at one time or another.
If you are dating someone that needs a lot of work on some things, think hard about that. At the very least don’t be in a rush to get married and have kids within the year.
Can you cope with what they are dealing with? How severe is it? How will it affect your future?
Always think about worst case scenarios.. what if they don’t change?
Life’s to short. Don’t get caught up in something that might drag you down in the end with it..
-Joe Taylor
2 responses so far ↓
1 DD-Guy // May 15, 2008 at 9:37 am
Always think about worst case scenarios… - that’s just brutal, nobody wants to do that. If you make a squeak about “what if” you will regret it to the last day of this failed relationship, if not more. At least that’s been my experience…
2 admin // May 15, 2008 at 9:59 am
Hi DD-Guy!
I suppose there are a lot of things people don’t *want* to do.. and it might be hard to overlook the positives of the relationship.
But I can tell you from my own experience thinking logically about a situation (stepping back and looking at some thing carefully) has far longer term benefits then not. There are things we may not *want* to do, but they can mean the difference of being happy or in bad shape long term..
I wouldn’t be with my current wife happily married if I wouldn’t have left the relationship I had when I met her.. that one was going no where; and that girl had issues.
I thought… I could stay with this other person and deal with these issues or follow this new relationship with this woman who had it together.
I had many poor relationships before that… some I tried to look past the negative, but they always ended badly.
-Joe
Leave a Comment